How to Impress Your Office Crush Over Zoom

Some tips for love this Valentine's Day. An oldie but a goodie.

2023 SUPER BOWL PARTY BINGO BOARD

Welcome to the Super Bowl! We got a fun game for you kids to play this Sunday - the 2023 Super Bowl Party Bingo Board, featuring 25 things guaranteed to happen this Super Bowl!

25 Things that Will Happen This Super Bowl Party

1.Guy who works at a start-up that pays in free coffee has tomorrow off & won’t shut up about it.

Nice man. We actually are all actively dreading Monday morning but I’m glad you prioritized a job that gives you tomorrow off instead of healthcare.

2. For some reason Jesus has every commercial slot

What are these commercials? Like who is paying for them? Can you advertise for Jesus? I don’t get it at all.

Apparently these are funded by the Hobby Lobby guy

3. Announcer mentions that Jason and Travis Kelce are brothers

And they have a podcast and they have the same mom and they both have beards

4. You miss hitting a square by one point every single quarter

5. Your boss Slacks your team about the commercials and how there’s so much we can learn from them about brand messaging

“Wow briliant commercial! How can we incorporate this into OUR advertising??” – your boss who gives you a $50k budget for year after the worst commercial you’ve ever seen.

6. 3rd plate of buffalo chicken dip at 10 pm

Just to fill in the nooks and crannies before bedtime.

7. Friend in social media tries to work from the party and has a panic attack

“Sorry, just gotta post this reallll quick”

8. No one touches the hummus

Hummus is a bottom tier snack on a normal day but on Super Bowl Sunday we can do soooo much better.

9. You crack a beer in the 4th quarter that makes you more full than drunk.

The Super Bowl drunk is one of the worst drunks. You really only have beer on hand, but you’re stuffing yourself with food all night so you feel like your stomach is going to pop. You’re usually that perfect amount of drunk where you will still get hungover but not enjoy a second of the night. Real good times.

10. A commercial involves ChatGPT and your dad texts you about it and you have to spend 15 minutes explaining it

“What is this ChatGPT crap?”

11. Doritos does something weird in an ad

We get it guys, you’re quirky.

12. Close up shot of Patrick Mahomes’ ankle

Did you know that he hurt it 4 weeks ago??? What an absolute warrior to play in the biggest game of his career.

13. DRINK THIS BEER. PUSSY

I ALREADY AM BUDWEISER.

14. You silently pray for OT so you can delay going to bed and facing Monday morning

Honestly, you start start laying the seeds for calling in sick on Monday today. Start coughing at your desk or the Zoom. Tell your boss you think you “might have that thing that’s going around.” Set yourself up for Monday morning to make a game time decision and just punt on the day. Tuesday will be better.

15. Girl mentions how hot Joe Burrow is even though he’s not even in the game

I mean, he is really hot. Not gonna lie

16. Friend won’t shut up about their parlay

This guy.

17. Joke about how we’re only here for the commercials and halftime show

18. Deciding if you can take a shit at this person’s house without anyone noticing

They probably will notice, but you shouldn’t really care. Those nachos and wings would run right through anyone, don’t take it personally.

19. Commercial for a software you use at work only serves to amplify your Sunday Scaries

Look at you Slack and Monday.com commercials.

20. Announcers remind us that Andy Reid coached both teams

Yeah no, we know. Thank you though.

21. WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER

Whopper whopper whopper whopper

22. Person who’s not at the party ends up winning all the squares

Has anyone ever actually won a square?

23. Vaguely artistic ad tries to connect complex social issues with a candy brand.

Now, more than ever, this country is divided. But there’s something we can all agree on…Reese Pieces.

24. Joke about how it’s a Rihanna concert with a game being played before and after.

I love Rihanna as much as the next guy but that’s just simply untrue.

25. The sight of Jackson Mahomes drives you insane

Just don’t show me him please.

House Hippo Commercial Of the Week

Cute AND has a message at the end? We love to see that.